Friday, 7 February 2014



Can you hear me, are you listening?

I know I'm still the same inside
I get muddled and confused 
and I know I remember everything
sometimes, on some days, somehow…
So, I don't know whether I've taken my tablet,
nor can I remember having breakfast
but I remember the soft, still light of dawn.. 
I remember greeting you for the first time
holding you in my arms, it was you, wasn't it
born on a still autumn morn, 
dark haired and with the tiniest fingers..
It was you, your mother cradling you in her arms
looking even more beautiful than ever..
and crying, I remember the tears, 
her tears, for her own mother would never hold you, 
never share her dreams for you.

I'm sorry I asked you that same thing so many times
but I can't remember your answer 
for more than a moment, maybe two
… will you be home for dinner? 
What time did you say, when… when will you be home?
Have I taken my tablet? I can't remember…
But I do remember your mother's beautiful voice
as she sang an Irish Lullaby
was that to you or one of the others…
maybe to all of you, each of you, others.
What will I cook for dinner, when will you be home?
Please don't get angry, I can't remember
When will you be home?

What's for dinner? Is it ready, am I cooking?
Who cooked dinner, when will you be home…
I can hear my voice, I know I can't remember
but I haven't forgotten the laughter
that wonderful, gentle laughter that ended in a burst of sound, 
then tears rolling down her cheeks when she couldn't stop.
Where's your mother, I can't find her
Please bring her home, where's your mother now?
I need to talk to her, where is she? 
tell her I'm waiting for her… will she be back soon?
I need her… 
is anybody listening?

© Crissouli 2013


  1. I'm listening Cris. Thank you for this poem that I feel you wrote for my Mum and me.

  2. Thank you for your comment, Jill.. sadly, I feel this applies to far many, including my dear Dad.

  3. Replies
    1. Thank you, Judy... Each day brings new challenges, I wonder just what is happening within.

    2. The previous one, "Outside, Looking In" is from the carer's perspective.

  4. Beautiful Chris. I feel the fog has lifted for him now and he is being heard and hearing others with clarity. Such a gentle and kind man who will always be remembered. Xo

    1. Thank you, Rob, he certainly left a feeling of kindness and caring wherever he went. He was so confused in later years, and bewildered... I like to think that he is happy again with Mum at his side.


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